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"Fix the TraderJoe's Parking Lot or I'm Moving Back to California."

I pulled into the Trader Joe’s Parking lot next to the Panda Express, just beside the Chipotle. A parking lot attendant in a yellow vest approached me with a smile and said hello.

I was appalled.

When I stepped out of my Land Cruiser, I saw another man in a yellow vest directing vehicles like a traffic guard. In a panic, I clutched my reusable bags and quickly scurried across the parking lot through the automatic doors into Trader Joe’s.

When I first visited Boise last year from Santa Monica, I was elated to see that the Trader Joe’s had ample parking space. That alone is why I decided to move here.

But the honeymoon phase didn’t last very long.

Each trip to “Trader’s,” as us frequent shoppers call it, has given me more and more anxiety. So much so that my reiki healer doubled my essential oil prescription.

I’ve noticed that the chaos in the parking lot gets noticeably worse with each passing day.

It’s frustrating because so many of the cars there have California license plates. I believe, given my seniority as a resident here, that Idaho should start doing something about all the new Californians coming here in droves.

For example, when I first arrived here, pedestrians and cars used to get out of the way whenever I rolled up in my Land Cruiser. Now it seems no one even recognizes that I’m in a luxury SUV. If I wanted to be invisible I’d buy a Subaru like everyone else.

Anyway, I have this nostalgia for a time at Trader’s when you could grab a handful of room temperature food samples. But now they run out in minutes.

This is a huge trigger for my 8 year old, who earlier threw a temper tantrum when they ran out of dried mango samples.

Now, the only thing that calms him is letting him break the something. So he grabbed the closest thing he could find, which happened to be a strangers phone. He grabbed it from the man and shattered it against the white tile floor. I was relieved, because it wasn’t my phone this time.

The very entitled man rudely demanded that I compensate him for the broken phone. He asked my what was wrong with my child, which is a trigger for me.

I publicly shamed him in front of several people and told him that my child is not autistic because I made sure to never vaccinate him.

I’ve about had it with the Trader’s. I’m am seriously considering moving back to California unless they fix their slew of issues.